The argument that most churches, including ours, need to make nowadays is not “why our church?” it’s “why church, period?” There is no longer a societal expectation that you’ll belong to a religious community. In fact, it’s often countercultural (especially among our progressive friends) to be a member of a congregation.

In his book Tribe, Sebastian Junger writes, “Self-determination theory holds that human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others.”

At Live Oak, we definitely can help with the latter two, and often the first, as well.

Unitarian James Freeman Clarke in 1866 wrote “We think it possible to have a Church, and even a denomination, organized, not on a creed, but on a purpose of working together. Suppose that the condition of membership was the desire and intention of getting good and doing good.  Let them sit together, express their desires, confess their faults, say what they have been trying to do, where they have failed, where succeeded, and so encourage each other to run with diligence the race set before them.”

I believe that this is core to authenticity, and authenticity is core to “getting good and doing good.” We work to discover our true selves and identify the values we hold most deeply. Once we have that information, we can create our individual guiding principles – the principles that we will turn to help us make decisions.

And though creating these principles comes down to individual choice, we don’t do this work alone. The rich discussions in our small groups, faith development classes, or just over a cup of coffee after the service have the potential to give us insight into who we are becoming.

What about that first part in Junger’s quote, about feeling competent at what we do?

I think that’s another area where being an active part of a church can help. Sometimes, it’s in very direct ways. I remember a member talking about how she became a better leader in her job because of the opportunities she had being a leader in her church.

But often, it’s less about skills, and more about developing a stronger sense of self. It happens hearing a respected older member laugh that heck, he always had to deal with “imposter syndrome,” or watching a child learn something new, and remembering that competency doesn’t mean we know how to do everything, but that we know how to learn new things.

I am lucky, because I get to hear so many stories from members, stories about how this church has changed their life, and this church has changed them.

It is difficult these days to feel content. We are living through scary and frustrating times. My center of peace, though, is restored by this congregation, and these words by UU minister Wayne Arnason:

Take courage friends.
The way is often hard, the path is never clear,
and the stakes are very high.
Take courage.
For deep down, there is another truth:
you are not alone.